Lessons on reliance
Bismillah.
Something happened yesterday, as a result of another event during the weekend.
A little hint: it's about a phase in life that everyone goes through.
Got it?
No?
Ok, another hint. This hint is really out there & blatantly obvious - it's about companionship.
So... are we on the same page now?
So yes. My heart has been knocked by Allah to seek. At first, I tried to ignore the knocking because knowing myself, I don't even know HOW to begin. I don't even dare to put myself out there to be known or seen. I'm that shy.
But the knocking became even louder a few months ago, till I can't ignore it anymore. So I started praying to Him to show me the way.
What should I do?
Where should I go?
How should I seek?
Who can help me?
Because I want to do things the way He's happy with. I'm done with trying to follow my heart. It's a fragile little thing and without His Guidance, I'm afraid that my heart would lead me astray.
From then on, He's been making me do the things I've never done, considering the options I've never considered. He's changing me. He's also been testing me with different trials that sometimes weaken my heart, but sometimes strengthen it. His Way of doing things always puzzles me.
So... about yesterday.
Here's the thing about Allah and His Way of doing things: I'm a daydreamer, and sometimes I plant a lot of wishful thoughts in my head. Sometimes I planned wishfully as well. But the thing is, Allah Knows what's better for me, so He Plans for my reality. And usually, I'd get disappointed with what He gave me.
After all the hard work that I put in for A, He'd give me B. Or when I get to choose between A, B, C and D, He'd give me E. And with my limited knowledge and wisdom (or the lack of it), I sometimes struggled to understand His Divine Reasoning & Wisdom. Crying is inevitable as I grew even more confused with what lies ahead.
But throughout this all, He has never ever left me to deal with this alone. After all the crying, the weeping & dried out tears, He'd replace the pain in my chest with relief.
And that's the source of my strength - the relief after the pain.
Something happened yesterday, as a result of another event during the weekend.
A little hint: it's about a phase in life that everyone goes through.
Got it?
No?
Ok, another hint. This hint is really out there & blatantly obvious - it's about companionship.
So... are we on the same page now?
So yes. My heart has been knocked by Allah to seek. At first, I tried to ignore the knocking because knowing myself, I don't even know HOW to begin. I don't even dare to put myself out there to be known or seen. I'm that shy.
But the knocking became even louder a few months ago, till I can't ignore it anymore. So I started praying to Him to show me the way.
What should I do?
Where should I go?
How should I seek?
Who can help me?
Because I want to do things the way He's happy with. I'm done with trying to follow my heart. It's a fragile little thing and without His Guidance, I'm afraid that my heart would lead me astray.
From then on, He's been making me do the things I've never done, considering the options I've never considered. He's changing me. He's also been testing me with different trials that sometimes weaken my heart, but sometimes strengthen it. His Way of doing things always puzzles me.
So... about yesterday.
Here's the thing about Allah and His Way of doing things: I'm a daydreamer, and sometimes I plant a lot of wishful thoughts in my head. Sometimes I planned wishfully as well. But the thing is, Allah Knows what's better for me, so He Plans for my reality. And usually, I'd get disappointed with what He gave me.
After all the hard work that I put in for A, He'd give me B. Or when I get to choose between A, B, C and D, He'd give me E. And with my limited knowledge and wisdom (or the lack of it), I sometimes struggled to understand His Divine Reasoning & Wisdom. Crying is inevitable as I grew even more confused with what lies ahead.
But throughout this all, He has never ever left me to deal with this alone. After all the crying, the weeping & dried out tears, He'd replace the pain in my chest with relief.
And that's the source of my strength - the relief after the pain.
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