The complexities of our feelings

Has it ever happened to you, like you feel something very strongly and it needs to be expressed in some way. However, words wouldn't flow when you started writing. Your hand stopped dancing after the very first sentence. Like, in essence, you know the depths of your feelings but words aren't exactly best to express it.

So you turned to brushes and paints instead. You started mixing colours, dipping your brush into the palette and stroking it onto a blank paper. But it didn't work. The colours weren't the right match for the context of your feelings (does this even make sense?) and the brush strokes weren't right for the expression that you intended. Feeling unaccomplished, you grew impatient (not to mention, confused).

So you tried expressing it through rhythms and melodies. You composed a musical arrangement. Notes after notes tied together in a short composition. It sounded right and matched with the mood, but they were just that - melodies. No words. No lyrics. But at least you felt a sense of relief.

Then you went back to your classic pen and paper. You started writing a heartfelt letter to none other than Your Creator. It wasn't melodious, the words didn't flow very well - there was no art in it. It was simply a cry to The Almighty. A pouring of heaviness stemming from a deep place in your heart. You cried in the letter, you asked for His Forgiveness, you prayed for His Guidance.. because you yourself couldn't comprehend your own feelings, you leave it to Him since He knows you so much better than you do yourself.

In retrospect, this inability to fully understand our own feelings is both a curse and a blessing - a curse, because it puts you in this cycle of confusion; and a blessing, because it reaffirms your 'humanness' - a creation who is always in need of The Creator, never able to fully rely on himself.